I thought this day would never come.

I borrowed this pic from Kristi's blog. It sums up the past few weeks for me as I've been getting ready for my social security disability hearing.

In May of 2008 I had sent in my third appeal in which you are allowed to request a hearing with a federal judge. At that point it had already been a year of applications and paperwork. The wait time to see a judge is right around 12 mos but Idaho is lumped in with Utah and is behind even more. I was told it could be a 15 mo wait. It actually took 21 mos to get a hearing, and so all together it's been 2 yrs 8mo and 11days, or 32 mos from begining to date. Ah, no wonder I'm exhausted.

Mom came and I was glad to have her there, although I know she's already missed a lot of work with Dad being in the hospital and now rehab. She's been a true friend and support. A person can go crazy second guessing themselves and "trying harder." It's hard to explain Chronic Fatigue and whatever unknown mystery virus I may or may not have.

My attorney presented my case well. He came recommended by a ward member and also because he is part of a state funded legal aid program, which means big savings in attorney fees should I be awarded.

We were fortunate to have the first appointment of the day, indicating that the judge would still be fresh, as opposed to the end of the day or right before lunch.

The meeting took place in a conference room in a local hotel. An expert occupational "witness" from Logan conferenced in to offer various job possibilities I could do, which came down to assembling surgical plastics and one other assembly job. I just imagined myself lying in bed in my pajama's assembling parts at 2 cents a piece. I haven't bought pajama's in a long time and the ones I have aren't very cute, so I didn't quite get in the moment of that vision.

Many of you have fasted and remembered me in your prayers. I appreciate your support. It will be several weeks before we hear back from the judge and honestly, as well as the hearing went I just don't think there are any guarantees, but life is full of surprises (Okay, this pic does'nt go with the tone of this blog, but I thought it was funny. )

I know Heavenly Father is aware and knows my needs. He has always provided for me. "Note to self: I'm going to be okay."